So here’s the thing, yesterday I went through a plethora of emotions. I was agitated by the comment “you feel comfortable yet”? I hadn’t even started my walk yet, the weather was beautiful and the sun was shining. From my viewpoint why wouldn’t I be? Humph. I was confused. Maybe they were talking about my clothes, trying to make the most of my work out I added a layer, although I didn’t think that was the point of the question I allowed for it, or maybe just maybe I read too much into it. Whatever my thoughts I’ll just go with the latter. Then there’s this whole communication barrier that seems to exist in my household. It seems we’ve happened upon this un-welcomed interruption to our speaking lives and clearly it must be me who’s having the difficulty with translation. I suppose a little self-reflection wouldn’t hurt but I’ve been doing that all week and yes I will get the break through to the other side of understanding that we once shared. Besides to exist any other way well it has no nutritional-emotional benefits. Liked how I linked those words together basically I’m saying emotionally it’s unhealthy to not have good communication with the ones you love. And then there’s the issue of finding a space that I can breathe in, breathe deeply, exhale and renew both my internal and external atmosphere to a place of anchored but motioned stabilization. Why because I feel as if I’m missing something. That there’s a partitioning between what I know in my heart I feel and what others suggest. And more than curious I think I was upset that the little peace of calm that I needed seemed to wither away at some point on yesterday. But today is anew and it’s another chance to make it last oooh just a little bit longer today.
As I stated yesterday I went for a walk and enjoyable it was. It was windy and I loved it. 70 degrees and a breeze didn't make for a bad time outdoors at all. Needless to say it brought yesterday's earlier agitation (read totally perturbed) to a simmer and provided an interesting perspective. I relished the blowing air and thought about my time in college. It was great and I got through it with out too much drama or incident (with the exception of a few memorables, which is for another day another post). That being said, I didn't drink, smoke or experiment with drugs. I don't say that as some type of badge of honor because that's not the case at all. But it was apparent, that somewhere along the way I truly believed what my grandparents told me growing up about character, honor, and integrity. However, the older I get I've grown wary or maybe even cynical at what maybe appears to be watered-down standards we've immersed ourselves in society. Notice I say ...
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