While away at a conference I got a chance to see a relative I hadn't seen in a while. It was nice to have lively discourse and conversation with my cousin. Somehow we ended up on topic of secrets. It was really funny and we found ourselves laughing about the matter. I wanted to bring the subject matter to you and see your thoughts. It is always interesting to see how initial perceptions can be formed depending on information.
The initial thought that provoked the conversation is that if you have knowledge of something its not a secret. But I shared a different point of view.
I defined a secret as knowledge not shared purposely to another individual. The reasons can vary but for the sake of this conversation the idea is to conceal the fact that some wrong or transgression had occurred.
To help illuminate the understanding I said this:
You may know two people, both of whom you are close with. That does not mean that you know those two individuals did something out of your presence that may hurt you or cause you to view them in a certain way. (This is just a hypothetical example)
I ended by saying this, in whatever case you find the secret began (they can be good or bad in this case we were talking about the negative aspects) clearing the air and allowing closure is the best way to honor, resolve a friendship or close relationship.
But let's see what Webster has to say about secrets:
Webster's Dictionary and Student Handbook defines a secret as this:
1. The true explanation regarded not as obvious.
2. Something not understood or explained; mystery/Beyond general understanding; mysterious
3. Concealed from the sight or notice; hidden
4. Something known only to some and kept from the knowledge of others
The first and second definition is the one that I wanted to highlight because it's not the common explanation that most people use. We know of a secret as something known to some but not others. However we rarely address that the impetus or real effect of the secret, that causes hurt or problems is because it is not obvious.
Here's the thing, let me break this down for you. Obvious can be on a spectrum based on many things but wisdom and foreknowledge are big factors in what's obvious. For example if I have knowledge (or am one of the individuals that the secret is known to) of information the obvious is much more clear. Likewise, if I have personal experience (wisdom) of certain behaviors than some things are more obvious. However if you are not privy to those things than the secret isn't obvious.
This is the place that transgression starts and how people get hurt. Discernment will let you know when something is out of place and is amiss. However you may not get the full picture until what? The matter has been explained. Here's another important note: You may have discerned or concluded what the secret is but you are not free to really embrace that until it has been proven.
With that being said, what are your views on secrets and what's the best way to resolve them? If you read my blog please share your thoughts and even better have it over a conversation with friends and then come and share what you've learned.
When you have lived (or live) a genuine life (not perfect) you know clarity is in the explanation.
We hurt people when we lose heart or don't have the heart to tell them the truth. People know they are loved by another when they can trace the steps of love from you to their heart. Its no mystery. I use to say I know my grandmother loved me, not because she never hurt my feelings or did everything right but because I could trace the steps of her love to my heart over and over and over again. It was visible. You have lived and live when you know and have seen that kind of love. There is nothing vague or superficial about it.
I'll end with this quote.
A dagger I send toward you not, I share my deepest truth with you because I send you my love instead.
The initial thought that provoked the conversation is that if you have knowledge of something its not a secret. But I shared a different point of view.
I defined a secret as knowledge not shared purposely to another individual. The reasons can vary but for the sake of this conversation the idea is to conceal the fact that some wrong or transgression had occurred.
To help illuminate the understanding I said this:
You may know two people, both of whom you are close with. That does not mean that you know those two individuals did something out of your presence that may hurt you or cause you to view them in a certain way. (This is just a hypothetical example)
I ended by saying this, in whatever case you find the secret began (they can be good or bad in this case we were talking about the negative aspects) clearing the air and allowing closure is the best way to honor, resolve a friendship or close relationship.
But let's see what Webster has to say about secrets:
Webster's Dictionary and Student Handbook defines a secret as this:
1. The true explanation regarded not as obvious.
2. Something not understood or explained; mystery/Beyond general understanding; mysterious
3. Concealed from the sight or notice; hidden
4. Something known only to some and kept from the knowledge of others
The first and second definition is the one that I wanted to highlight because it's not the common explanation that most people use. We know of a secret as something known to some but not others. However we rarely address that the impetus or real effect of the secret, that causes hurt or problems is because it is not obvious.
Here's the thing, let me break this down for you. Obvious can be on a spectrum based on many things but wisdom and foreknowledge are big factors in what's obvious. For example if I have knowledge (or am one of the individuals that the secret is known to) of information the obvious is much more clear. Likewise, if I have personal experience (wisdom) of certain behaviors than some things are more obvious. However if you are not privy to those things than the secret isn't obvious.
This is the place that transgression starts and how people get hurt. Discernment will let you know when something is out of place and is amiss. However you may not get the full picture until what? The matter has been explained. Here's another important note: You may have discerned or concluded what the secret is but you are not free to really embrace that until it has been proven.
With that being said, what are your views on secrets and what's the best way to resolve them? If you read my blog please share your thoughts and even better have it over a conversation with friends and then come and share what you've learned.
When you have lived (or live) a genuine life (not perfect) you know clarity is in the explanation.
We hurt people when we lose heart or don't have the heart to tell them the truth. People know they are loved by another when they can trace the steps of love from you to their heart. Its no mystery. I use to say I know my grandmother loved me, not because she never hurt my feelings or did everything right but because I could trace the steps of her love to my heart over and over and over again. It was visible. You have lived and live when you know and have seen that kind of love. There is nothing vague or superficial about it.
I'll end with this quote.
A dagger I send toward you not, I share my deepest truth with you because I send you my love instead.
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