Skip to main content

Trying to maintain family closeness during the holidays

So here's the thing...

I've been talking about this lately because when you have school-aged children around it comes up but the holidays often conjure up family rifts if they go left unsettled. I know families that have gone decades with unresolved issues and some that never got the closure they should have- the result, family ties were severed and if truth be told the family becomes scarred because of it.

Over the years I've talked with my mom and dad about family rifts and it's always interesting. It is jaw dropping stuff and usually I'm covering my mouth in unbelief. The after-shock of family disputes always seems to come alive at Thanksgiving or Christmas. There's a missing person on there's tension in the air. Loneliness and depression increases during the holidays and so as uncomfortable as it is to have difficult conversations it's worth it. Of course to avoid arguing you have to put the real issues on the table. You have to go to the root of the pain. It's at that place that each person has to be quiet enough to talk about what they feel and yes what they perceived. You know what I've noticed you can argue about many things but when a lie is the seed of deception and not some misinterpreted action it will linger for decades until it's exposed. So I say, discuss the lie. Don't spend time arguing about the symptoms that occurred because of it. Talk about the lie and the emotions and whatever else manifested as a result.

And yes, I've had my issues with this type of thing. That's why I'm a firm believer in establishing family communication and using it effectively to resolve conflict. It's met with resistance but more often than not the family is better for it when you can resolve it. I know this may be a no brainer but when you create a life of responding and not reacting you are more likely to have a family discussion and less likely to have family arguments and secrets. 

Be looking out for my womdau (that's short for woman-daughter) Monologue: From the womb speaks laughter and truth 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Moments in Love (I shared this with you in 2013) I thought it was a great way to say hello again and wish you Happy Valentines Day

Moments in Love (Reflections by Taneisa Grier) Real & true love isn't sacrificial. Only fools choose to loose time for tomorrows that aren't promised. It's our "todays" love that even carries us to the future love. Find me a "man" who’s experienced health and prosperity and see if he discounts love as being a measure of that blessing. To each its own though. But for me-bid me a love that is true and sweet. A memory of a portion of "good" love may seem like forever in a short span of time. The feeling never leaving and the essence of a touch, though fading still remembered.   "I traced his steps back to the place" where I first exhaled and realized the beauty of this moment is in the feelings that I carry away after the exchange. If fleeting, we might call it lust. But if this pure moment is lasting, we have just seen the love of God in each of us, mirrored reflection of "on earth as it is in heaven". Might I be a b...
Post a Comment
Read more

Stairwells to the 2nd-3rd Floor Pretty Uncommon in Hospitals

I really was hesitant to write about this on my blog. The content seemed a bit dark and well not the news topic I wanted to write about on Awesome. But I couldn't help it. I was compelled because I thought for all the steps one would take on their pedometer, in some places, it would begin once you took the elevator to the 2nd floor hmmm. Getting to the point- I realized how easy it was for a women to be in the stairwell of a hospital and not be found until several days or weeks afterwards, and that's because many health professionals at hospitals don't take the stairs. What!!!!! That's right long gone are the days for steps you once trekked in jr. high, high school and college. So what if something is wrong with elevator well there must be a plan C because plan B is likely not the steps. To be fair I can understand why you'd monitor the steps and the hospitals. They should be. Good security never hurts. However, to not know the diagram or layout makes my eyes wide...
Post a Comment
Read more

Where to...

Thought for the day Ethics should not be reduced so low that we ravage the innocence, moral character, or integrity of society. To do so is to morally bankrupt the fabric of our existence. You don't want to look around and have to wonder if there is anything good left to hold on to. I'll tell you the truth, TV has really opened my eyes. As I've said in previous posts, I've never been a big TV watcher. But the past several months has been a provocation of sorts. Many revelations have been positive and insightful but a great deal more have been heartbreaking. Albeit most shows are meant to entertain but, they still create opportunities to learn, often indicating we've got to check our internal compass to make sure we are headed in a positive direction, making our world a better place to live.
Post a Comment
Read more